


I'm not blind (but sometimes I wish I was)

by Project6stuff



Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Implied Relationships, dadowsan, shadowsan is perceptive, takes place during their time at V.I.L.E.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 12:53:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19441861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project6stuff/pseuds/Project6stuff
Summary: Shadowsan is used to knowing everything at a sharp, quick glance. He has to know exactly how many pockets someone has, where the item is located, and his chances of not getting caught. He knows what others are feeling by the direction of their feet, their posture, eyes, and the quivers in their voice.So, he's perceptive, and it's useful in his line of work, but sometimes he sees things he wishes he could unknow.He starts to notice Blacksheep growing up, and the trials and feelings that go with it.





	I'm not blind (but sometimes I wish I was)

**Author's Note:**

> Um so this is my first fanfic so I hope yall enjoy it. I'm pretty nervous to post it and I don't have Grammarly premium so I can't really fix some stuff, so I'm open to constructive criticism. Anygay, kudos and comments are appreciated :)

Shadowsan is observant, he has to be in his line of work- has to know how many pockets someone has, if they’re empty or if there’s a bulge, he has to know his chances when he’s on a mission. 

But sometimes- and this is rare- sometimes he wishes he wasn’t so keen on others. Shadowsan notices things he wishes he didn’t know of. Prime example: he finds out that Countess Cleo and Dr. Bellum have semi-regular friends with benefits relationship going on.

He figures that out when he starts to notice awkward moments between the two during faculty meetings when Dr. Bellum seems to have less sleep than usual- along with Cleo. And of course, when he decides to rise a little early for once and sees Bellum tiptoe out of Cleo's quarters- now that's hard evidence if there ever is any. That was also an awkward morning for all three of them. 

Although Shadowsan wishes he wasn’t so perceptive (blessing and a curse as it is) he can’t ignore forever what’s in front of him.

Blacksheep is growing up, she’s a student, soon to be graduate and he can’t protect her forever. 

She’s the best student they have this year- if ever, she’s exceeding every class and is leagues above her classmates. He really shouldn’t be surprised, all the faculty expected this- but still, it’s amazing how much potential she displays. 

Shadowsan also notices how much attention Blacksheep is gathering, especially from a certain brunette with an Australian accent. 

He starts to notice lingering glances, brushing of hands and knees, and playful bantering edging on flirtatious. But, he also hears Blacksheep calling grey “a brother she's never had.” 

He scoffs to himself when he heard that. He’s sure Grey doesn’t return the same sentiment, he hopes Blacksheep breaks it to him before Grey gets too far ahead of himself. 

He starts to wonder though if Blacksheep even understands her own feelings. He wasn’t exactly involved in her upbringing so he doesn’t know if coach Brunt gave her all the “talks” that comes with entering into teenage and adulthood. He hopes so, he really doesn’t want to have to do it.

Shadowsan digresses, it really isn’t his business what Blacksheep does in her free time if it doesn't hurt anyone, and Grey doesn’t seem too bad, so he really shouldn’t worry. But, he does. He does worry.

He notices when Grey perfectly crafted an origami black sheep. He notices her resulting blush and Grey’s winning smirk. Shadowsan’s eyebrows scrunch up and he stills. He sees both their gazes soften. 

He continues to worry. 

Both for Blacksheep’s innocence and for her future. He hopes she won't have to find out the hard way that vulnerability only brings pain in their line of work. How relationships tend to fail in Shakespearean, tragic ways. How brightness and light get swallowed by V.I.L.E.’s black hole of dark, selfish morality and corruptness. He worries what will happen when Blacksheep finally knows how deep her home’s criminal record is. He can only hope she isn’t as impulsive as she is and gets herself hurt. 

Shadowsan is tired of worrying for Blacksheep, he’s scared it will only get worse when she is no longer under his watch. So, he makes a decision, maybe not his best one, but it’s the only one he can think of- he cheats on Blacksheep’s final. 

He can see her eyes getting glassy when the two minutes are up and there is no dollar bill in her hand- he almost tastes regret. He also sees Grey go to comfort her, and glare at him. 

I deserve it, Shadowsan thinks. 

But he doesn’t regret it enough when Blacksheep goes up to him later to demand a retake, even confessing she knows he never had a dollar in the first place. He tries to act insulted at her tactlessness and disrespect and reprimands her. He finds it especially hard not to give in and apologize. 

It’s for her own good, you are protecting her, he convinces himself. 

Again, he shouldn’t be surprised when he and the faculty find out she has escaped later on to go on her former classmate's caper, he really shouldn’t be.

When Blacksheep comes back though, she is unnaturally subdued and focused- her childishness and impulsivity have gone. 

He sees her alone at mealtimes and at classes. She no longer has a set partner, now that Grey is gone. He sees her staring into empty spaces as if she can bring her friend back like she can forget the events of Morocco. But then, when the loneliness of her eyes gets too much, too suffocating, her eyes (sunken in and rimmed with dark marks, she’s exhausted, he thinks) harden. Determination fills them, along with hope.

At first, he doesn’t know what to do with that information. Until December rolls around and then the isle of V.I.L.E is on lockdown. Unsurprisingly, Blacksheep is the only student not in her dorm, and the hard drive is missing. It doesn’t take a genius to piece together the puzzle. It also doesn’t take a genius to know that Blacksheep doesn’t trust him, so it really shouldn't hurt as much as it does when she leaves him at the dock. But the sting is harsh and deep when she speeds off, the only thing to see is the bright red hat and coat she stole. 

Shadowsan learned how deep in the recesses of his mind he has to push to bury his emotions. So, when the others catch up to him, the pain is swept off and all that is left behind is a perfectly crafted blank mirage. 

With Blacksheep's defection and betrayal, things change at V.I.L.E. academy. And when Grey- Crackle now- comes back with the others (for interrogation, he has to remind himself, not for any personal reasons), he sees the pain in Crackle’s eyes that reflects the pain in his own soul. 

Shadowsan pretends not to notice Blacksheep’s Russian matryoshka dolls missing, to not see Crackle’s bag filled with them. He pretends not to notice the determination in his eyes, and maybe (a hopeful maybe) the fondness still in them.


End file.
